“Then what must I do? As such I am so bad, not in the least because I suffer, but because I would like to be in a convent.”
“Soon you’ll be there; do not fear, be good and do that which the Confessor will wish. Remember well that which I promised you, that every evening after 11pm I will come and if you would carry the cross voluntarily where Jesus now wishes, soon then He will concede it to take you…”
“But I am afraid that then, when I am in the convent, everyone will forget about me, and I will have to stay where I am.”
“Be strong, my sister, - he responded – do not let yourself be derided by anyone who tells you otherwise; it is the will of God that you be a Passionist. If others forget you, I will not; when it shall be your time, I will inform you of everything which is to be done; but you must not speak of this to anyone, other than the Confessor. Remember that Jesus has not given you life two times for thing; do you not remember that which you promised the evening of July 5th?”
|Monsignor Giovanni Volpi|
“Now I wish to liberate you, and in memory of these 5 days which you have suffered, remember My wounds.”
+ I asked Jesus that if He wanted to make me suffer another little bit those things, I would do it, for I would have offered all for the souls in Purgatory. But Jesus responded to me that He would liberate me there at once, mostly so you could put me in a convent at once, otherwise He would not have, but from suffering He would give me so much, but everything internally. Then Br. Gabriel came: [it seemed that] he put his hand on my head and he made me repeat three times: Ab insidiis diaboli, libera nos, Domine. I said it, and so too Ms. Cecilia said it, and (it seemed) that he blessed me and then left me.
He told me that in these days He was always with me; He saw that I suffered, and He smiled: He also told me that as a reward, because I have combated so much, I could kiss His wounds. But for so little that I had passed, I did not deserve a reward so big. Jesus showed me all His wounds, He made me come close to Him, I kissed them all; when I went to that of the Side, I felt unable to resist. How happy I was! Jesus made me to forget all these days which I passed in just a few moments [with Him].
In the evening then I did not see the moment to hear, and Jesus without me asking Him anything, told me: “Go immediately to the Confessor and tell him that if he does not put you in a convent that is a burden which will afflict you, and cause you to die. Tell him at once.”
I have suffered so much to write it to you: I was too ashamed. I told it first to Ms. Cecilia, and she obligated me to tell it at once: I wanted to wait to write tomorrow, because I have to ask other things of Jesus, but she wanted me to write at once. But now I do not feel the burden, today I am very well.
“And why does he not will it?”
“Oh You don’t know why he does not will it? He is afraid that you are the devil, and therefore it would be a very serious matter.” And Jesus: “I will make him see Who I am, do not fear.”
“And I as well am afraid.”
“You then – said Jesus – what are you afraid of? Many times I have made you to recognize Who I am. What do you believe? Your doubts displeasure Me.”
“But I - I responded – I doubt because the others doubt; but out of charity, if you are truly Jesus, make Yourself recognized properly; do you understand? We cannot go forward more, nor I, nor the Confessor, nor those who know these things. I fear so much, oh Jesus, because I am afraid of being derided by the devil, and I am also afraid of deceiving the others, and then what?...”